Tuesday, June 23, 2015


“Editors”: Ahhh, the ranting continues …

As Paul (the space alien not the disciple) sez
“Let the Probing Begin…”

Sure enuff, the ol’ ticky dot cat does indeed seem to have it in for “editors.” Nothing personal, mind you, I is a sorta one myself, but “editors” are like a fish bone stuck in the throat: in order to finish a complete meal—gotta gaaack out, deal with, that pricker…

First: let us establish what background(s) an editor might have to justify messing with your celestially created “poem.”
Many “editors” have taken a high school journalism credit…hmmm? Poetry immersion…probably not. But journalism will at least give them a realistic grasp of writing. An equal number of so called “editors” most likely have a background in some sort of English, Auto Shop or P.E. Hopefully the foremost.
And yes, many have taken a run at, what is laughably called “poetry.” Classic poetry…? is a good foundation. Contemporary poetry…? scary—especially in the post-literate society and the teach-to-test atmosphere of today’s educational system.

Ok. So, now I’ve hacked “editors” (not without bias) but have not mentioned: there is nothing more helpful to a writer, than a real-deal, give-a-crap editor. Not just someone handling the chores and responsibilities of their position, but a person who really—that’s, r-e-a-l-l-y—cares about what the writer has to say, and that it is presented in the finest face possible, with the least amount of meddling…

Second: Let us consider the actual job of an editor.
How many of us, truly have a grasp of this too oft liabled function.
The position of an editor, whether it is for a print (ink) magazine, book publisher, an on-line or air-play entity, it is multi-fold. The job description of an editor might run something like this: Requires: English Lit./Journalism background (obviously, a poetry foundation for those types of publications); proficient with grammar, spelling, punctuation; grasp of obtuse metaphors, similes and underlying themes. Must know how to utilize a dictionary; worshipping the O.E.D.; properly versed in use and understanding of a thesaurus; use, keep and sleep with a New York Times or Chicago style manual at all times. Must know how to background and accuracy data check. Must themselves be a solid creative writer. Must have firm working knowledge of function and procedure of publication operation and timelines. Must have either a graphic art/lay-out background or a good eye for page balance and print-theme arrangement. Must have solid communication skills, and an endless supply of patience. Would be nice to have empathy and a desire to advance the talents of those who submit their hopes and works—blending those with the needs of a successful publishing operation.

Though not stated as such, between the lines of the editor’s job description—
Not desired: Inability to put up with the ego’s and lack of background or writing ability of submitting writers. Misuse of publication’s time and resources trying to correct, guide and mentor those submitting writers—especially those who do not follow direction, wish to be defiant, want to argue, and/or think their scribblings must be seen exactly as submitted or all of the known universe will collapse.

That’s it. Self explanatory. One needs to figure it out or they will perish as a considered published writer.

Hopefully, each writer finds that editor, or even editors, who are the real-deal and have the time and inclination to show, instead of tell. Editors who are committed to their art and responsibility—and are still able to expand the experience of the writers searching, and deserving, to be read…And those writers who want—and are willing to learn.

Peace and good writing,
ever grumpy ol’, Max tdc

Monday, June 22, 2015


More on Line Breaks…
(or should this be,
“moron line breaks…(?)”

Ahha! There is life out there

Received a number of requests to further detail ol’ Max’s post of June 18 2k15:Oddities, confusion and  just plain Weirdness
Apparently the problems being encountered in matching one’s line entry spacing with any particular site or publication’s line entry acceptance are fairly similar.
And from what ol’ Max sees coming across the desk of Cheap Seat’s, in the “columns” of other inkers and especially online “e-zines”—can see why.

A publication (e-zines too) establish a “template” to control the vertical, and especially, the width dimension of what is going to be printed.
Let’s envision this template as simply: setting tabs.
The problems with this “simply setting tabs,” the writers’ tabs cannot exceed the limit of the publication’s tabs. Fair enuff! Basically put, your “poem” must fit within their space: ya can’t force a bag of marshmallows into your mouth all at once.

Assuming a max line of 50 units (unit=key strokes):

1                                                  50
V                                                 V
Friends, Romans, countrymen; lend me your ears.
(plain face)

—or fyi—

Friends, Romans, countrymen—lend me your ears.
(Bold face)
                                                
If you send the line as shown, it will be printed something like…

Friends, Romans, countrymen;
lend me your ears (not too bad, actually)

But, depending upon the actual settings or abilities  at “El Publisher Importanté:”

Friends, Romans, countrymen
; lend me your ears.    (naw. This just ain’t right…)

We’ve all seen some of the other atrocities

1                                                 50
V                                                 V                     
The quick red fox jumps over thelazy brown dog.

The quick red fox jumps over the
lazy brown dog.  —or—

The quick red fox jumps over
 thelazy brown dog.
                                      (here, the ellipse line “
                                      is not separated from the
                                      two adjacent words,
                                      as is correct.
                                      But the receiving
                                      software reads the line
                                      and attached words as 
                                      combined, or as one
                                      stand-alone unit.

 To re-cap:

1.)  Your tabs and the publisher’s will not add up.
2.)  Carefully, count the average appearing maximum example line(s) shown in the publication. Establish their “actual” length and use this as your basis.
3.)  Keep in mind: fifty capital “M’s” are longer than a line of fifty lower case “i’s.” Also, a bold line will print longer than its comparative standard face counterpart.
4.)  Deduct about 5 or so percent to act as your cushion. (i.e.: for a 50 count line, try using 47 as the count.)
5.)  Set tabs at 50—keeping in mind, the 47 is your target count. Running a line to the max of 50 may leave you wondering why the publisher put the period on its own line?
     . (<i.e.)
6.)  Don’t adjust the space between your words to make them fit. The publisher’s software or an editor, may re-adjust your compressed spaces, extending your line, turning your meaning to mush with heartless dangling
breaks.
7.)  If you are lucky enuff to receive “proofs” or “galleys” from an ink printer, or after a submission to an e-zine comes back all catawampus—for heaven’s sake say something. They can’t make their template wider, but you can adjust your line breaks, the formatting of your “poem,” to look and read at the optimum for the situation.
   Adapt and overcome…

Finally—Do you want some faceless editor or his flunky adjusting your line breaks? Trust the ol’ cat on this: editor’s mostly, don’t care that you think your work is celestial and needs to be seen the way your spaghetti and parmesan cheese infused dreams say it should. If the publication’s request in the guidelines or your count from observation is for a particular line length, use your smarts and adjust your “poem” for that length (maximum—less is better, here too). Editorial staffs are notorious for simply breaking your “poem” any damn place that fits their space!
Editors also, love to play god, with their woodshop background, and change your “poem” to fit their Cheerio’s rush… but this is a rant for another time…

Too many Mtn. Dews for breakfast (again…)

Max tdc