the Real Deal…?

for your consideration

(Ref: AlleyKatPoets Oct. 21, 2k15)

   Was once again, riding that bronco of translation/mis-translation of “poetry” from one language to another.

  Not to beat a dead frog (so to speak) but a great exemplar of the vagaries of translation is the accumulation of Matsuo Basho’s iconic haiku

              old pond

              frog jumps in—

              sound of water   Matsuo Basho

If one is reading a book of translations (any type of poetry) it is wise to keep in mind, these are translated by “scholars” of varying degrees of accomplishment with just as many various outlooks on the work, just as many forms of flavoring (interpretation) they may want to impart.

   Here are some examples of translation “colorings” from supposed “experts” and their supposed translation from (17th Century) Japanese.  From some of these, exampled by those on this particular site, and I’m assuming, these are purported to be “experts,” one might be tempted to read: “muttonheads”—but after all: translation cannot devoid itself of the interpretive seasoning. Garlic and onion powder on ice cream…who’s to say…?

www.bopsecrets.org/gateway/passages/

basho-frog.htm

Old pond

frogs jumped in

sound of water.   Lafcadio Hearn

______________________________

Into the ancient pond
A frog jumps
Water’s sound!    T.D. Suzuki

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A lonely pond in age-old stillness sleeps . . .
Apart, unstirred by sound or motion . . . till
Suddenly into it a lithe frog leaps.  Curtis Hidden Page

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There once was a curious frog
Who sat by a pond on a log
And, to see what resulted,
In the pond catapulted
With a water-noise heard round the bog.

Alfred H. Marks

As one might suspect…these are very likely the “translations” (read “interpretations” from a class of grade schoolers completing a class project—students, who cannot read a stroke of kanji…[?]) That “Trumpish” comment made: many of the “translations” one may read in “scholarly” journals, would be hard-pressed to do better.

No-do-haiku too many Sugar Bombs for breakfast,

 Max tdc

Hitching a ride on memory…

Listening to the radio, I have noticed an interesting “musical consistency.” Not being of musical bent, don’t know if this is a composer’s planned event, but it is a constant…

   Noticed, the first few (as in, as little as two) notes of a song, or instrumental piece, can reveal the identity of the entire piece. Yes, one needs to be familiar with the score in the first place to recall it, but certain features of the opening notes are so telling, the remainder of the progression comes easily to recall. Song lyrics; the most easily recalled, have the catchiest, most direct opening lines…

      “Well, my daddy left (home when I was three…”)

      “On the road again (I can’t wait to…”)

“Hello darkness my old friend (I’ve come to talk with you again…”)

      “Hey Mr Tam- (borine man…”)

Even lines embedded within these songs are many times even more striking than the openings…

   Compare these with poems you’ve read and have some recall of.

      “To be (or not to be…”)

      “Ah Yorick (I knew him well…”)

      “There upon a midnight (dreary…”)

“Sara Cynthia Silvia Stout (would not take the…”)

Now compare them with your openings…

It’s that opening, the very first few beats, words, of a song or poem that grab the readers’ interest. It doesn’t have to be “KAPOW!” gruesome or tactless. But being short, sweet, direct and to the point, certainly doesn’t hurt.

   Wanna know how not to open your poem? Take a quick read through the majority of “narrative poetry” being accepted out there. The long drawn out, soft, unfocused, wasted verbiage used to open the usual piece. Writers think they’re being conversational. “Conversational” is indeed imperative to a successful “narrative” type poem (actually, any type poem needs to sound as if a friend is reciting it to you)—boring and draggy isn’t.

Recall. Instantaneous recall is the success to any piece of writing.

   “Well, my daddy, a man of low morals and even less character, left home, one dark and cloudy day, when I was the age of three…” Don’t think Shel even messed with this type of an opening for the Johnny Cash hit. What do you think?

Max tdc